Reflecting on my Journey...so far

I've been reflecting a lot on my journey this week - where I've been, how far I've come, where I would like to go from here, and how to get there.  I can break this down to two areas - running and weight.

The running part is easier, I think.  I want to improve as a runner.  Merely finishing a half marathon is not a big enough goal for me anymore.  I've done it four times.  I want to improve my time.  I want to be a better runner.  So, as I mentioned in Sunday's post, I'm starting an official training plan for my next half marathon in December.  It actually requires me to run less than the 25-28 miles a week that I've been running, but each workout has a purpose.  I'm going to trust the plan, and see where it takes me.  I had a great early morning run yesterday, and another run on the plan for tomorrow morning.  Rather than the 7 mile "long run" on the plan this weekend, I will be running the Disney Tower of Terror 10-miler.  I'm really excited about just having fun with this.

The food/weight part is a challenge for me - it always has been.

I saw this on Facebook yesterday, and it struck me that it may be part of my problem:

It made me wonder, do I believe in my heart that I can win the battle with food and my weight I've struggled to fight for most of my life?

I'm so happy that I weigh 50 pounds less than I did 2 years ago.  But it's been 11 months since I've lost any weight, and if you calculate my BMI, I've got 25 or so pounds to go.  

If you've been reading this blog, you know that I've tried countless ideas to lose weight - My fitness pal, Weight Watchers, taking pictures of and posting my food choices, trying to be vegan, etc. etc. etc.  

But here I am.  I have good food days.  I have bad food days.  It's like a roller coaster.

I don't know what the answer is, but I've got two ideas I am going to try.

1.  Set a smaller, more attainable goal:  I don't know if I believe 115 pounds is possible in my heart.   But 130-135 seems more reasonable.  I currently fluctuate between 140-145, so that's about 10 pounds.  I can do 10 pounds.  It's just 10 pounds.  Then I can decide where to go from there.

2.  Practice moderation:  I know that I rebel against counting.  My most "successful" weight loss experiences have been when I've counted something - calories, points, fat grams...  But success is relative, because how "successful" can it be if I regained the weight back?  The good thing about this time, losing 50 pounds, is I have maintained that weight loss for nearly a year.  That is a huge accomplishment for me.  Now, to lose more, I am going to try to live a healthy life.  I am going to allow myself the cookie or the margarita (instead of guiltily eating those things and thinking I'm off my "plan" so I might as well have 2 or 3, and I'll get back on track tomorrow).  Just one - and I'll enjoy it, rather than scarf it down because I feel bad because I "shouldn't" be having it.

I don't know where this road will take me, but I hope that I can find a healthy balance so that I can live a long, happy life in a healthy, fit body that I am proud of.  

Have a great day!